There has never been a time where I did something radical and regretted it. Sure, a thing or two may not have worked out…but in the end I always knew it needed to happen. It either gave me direction or clarity. Despite my fear that something could go wrong, I have always been one to just take the jump and build my wings on the way down. Sometimes I built wings and soared, other times I fell straight to the ground. Who I am today has a lot to do with my many trials and tribulations of flying and falling.
I see my life as a beautiful carousel.
The bright gorgeous lights represent Christ in my life. Even in the darkest of nights, He shines bright and makes everything beautiful. He has a huge purpose and without Him I see nothing.
The decor respresents the beauty around me. Nature & art. It’s all so beautiful to stare at and enjoy. It’s a representation of how life should be viewed, despite of the loose screws, scratches, or scuffs.
The horses represent my ability to make choices in life.
The motion represents my life journey. Going in a circle over and over reflects how life goes on. The up and down movement represents the good times and the bad times.
The other riders represent the people I do life with. There are SO many people who live on planet earth, but God chose specific people to be in my life.
The excitement of the ride represents how life feels. Fun, joyful, and maybe a little scary or hard sometimes. (I literally have fallen off a horse before because of just who I am) 😝
& lastly, the ride comes to an end…which represents death. Eventually I will die. Which leads me to my next point. Before my time on earth comes to an end, I want to make my life count. I want to make the best of my carousel ride.
I feel like I am sitting on this beautiful carousel of life. Riding my horse, going up and down, and doing my best. I’m surrounded by other riders who I love so very much. I come across others who I may never know well, but I see them walking around and I don’t feel alone, even if I’m not riding next to friends or family at times.
I’m surrounded by the beauty and art on the carousel, however; sometimes I focus on the broken down horse, or the rider who decides to walk off for good (friends, family, stupid boys 😝). I do love new riders and I’m definitely looking forward to meeting them in future. I am impatient though…the empty horse next to me where I envision my husband is not easy to accept sometimes. It may have something to do with me getting tired of kicking potential hubbies off when I know they’re not the one. Lol! Or riding a double seated horse where my child “should be”. Sometimes instead of looking at the beautiful details, my eyes are fixed on the dirty mirrors, the unswept floors, or the scruffs on the poles. These things seem to happen when I am in a season of selfishness. Fortunately, I do feel God crafted my heart to love on others. Not just in my community, but to the ends of the earth. I’m just trying to figure out how to live a purposeful life on my carousel and still be bold enough to step off for a little while and live my purpose off of it, too.
Some days I am perfectly content on my carousel. It’s a safe ride, it’s comfortable, it’s fun, and it’s normal. On other days, I want to get off of it. As I stare out into the midst of the unknown, I can’t help but feel called to step off and go. To live a life of abandonement and help others build their carousel. Or just to give them a new perspective about theirs. To accept the invitation to ride theirs so when I come back to mine, I see it differently. The lights, the horses, the people. & so I can thank God for crafting mine so perfectly imperfect- for His glory.
A lot of people stay on their carousel forever. The radical ones step off sometimes…& there’s nothing wrong with either way, as long as you do what you feel you were meant to do. Some of us have divine crafted purpose on the carousel only. Some have divine crafted purpose outside of it too. I personally, wasn’t created to buckle up for good. I thought I was years ago, but boy does life sure change. God wants me to be courageous. He needs me. He is so clear. I just have to be bold. I am forever thankful that I always have a safe place to come back to. My carousel isn’t perfect, in fact it breaks down sometimes…but the lights always shine, the important riders are always there, and Jesus helps me decide when I need to stay, and when I need to go. Last night I unbuckled my seat belt. The next step is to step off of the horse.
Not forever, but for such a time as this…