Life is what you make it…seriously.

Adding to my previous post “Roller coaster”, I am happy that I experienced that because it reminded me to keep chasing adventure and I don’t need anyone to do it with me.

I don’t have to travel far for it either. As I was falling asleep last night I thought really hard about the last time I felt an INTENSE adrenaline rush or just excited about something that was good for me.

I’m sure there have been many things that I just couldn’t think of, but the first thought was being on stage. It’s been about 12 years since and that’s far too long for me.

So I am going to get back into dancing, lyrical dancing to be exact:

Aaaaand I’m gonna try something new:

auditioning for a play!

STARTING THIS WEEK. I’m pretty excited. Going to shift my focus from dumb boys and work, (and adulting in general) to new adventure with a splash of adrenaline and a whole lot of happiness.

Onward and upward,

Sabrina

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Grateful

Life is a little blurry right now, but I’m still smiling through it all. The good outweighs the bad and for that I am beyond grateful.

Roller coaster

Have you ever taken a risk on something where you knew the chance of it working is slim to none but it would be worth it regardless…so ya do it?

I took a chance on a guy in April and it has been quite a roller coaster ride ever since. Now I know why people use the analogy “roller coaster” for certain things because that’s the perfect way to explain this guy. In fact, I’ll write it out to help you understand it better.

I’m staring at the roller coaster knowing I probably shouldn’t go on for various reasons. As I’m standing there it keeps inviting me to go. It looks tempting and thinking that perhaps I could overcome some fears if I try, but I just know deep down in my heart that this coaster isn’t meant for me to ride on.

It’s unlike any roller coaster I’ve ever been on in my life. In fact, it’s one I would never consider in the past, because that coaster has been through too much and I didn’t want to take a chance in that danger zone.

But I give it a chance (haha), and thank God I buckled up because I had no idea what I was getting myself into. At first it was fun. Not too scary but I was skeptical regardless. It was smooth sailing. Easy. Exciting. More like adrenaline and thrill. I kept mentally checking in realizing I shouldn’t be on it, but then I’d surpass that thought and enjoy it.

Until the drops came. Up and down. Up and down. Then the crazy turns out of no where made their debut. The loops came at no surprise. Then it calmed down and became fun again. Boom. Sudden brakes. Fast takeoffs. Repeat all of the above. Over and over again. Everything.

It was still worth it.

So I kept riding.

But eventually I knew that the idea of staying on seems tempting, but once this coaster stopped, I should get off. The energy it took to ride it was exhausting. All of a sudden it wasn’t fun anymore, it wasn’t healthy for me to stay on.

So now I’m at the theme park. I can hear the coaster, and I can see it. Sometimes I’m tempted to go on again, because the thrill of it was worth it.

There’s no end to this story yet. I’m still just walking around, and sometimes sitting on a bench wondering if I should try again and try harder to enjoy it.

Can I be honest here?

When I started my blog I had no idea that a couple hundred of people would care about what I say or do. And maybe that’s not the case. I know some people follow just to simply network with hopes that I’d follow back…but I do feel the authenticity from some of you and that makes me happy 🙂

With that being said, I have to be honest. My blog has always been a safe place for me to jot down my emotions and experiences. The pretty and the ugly. As happy as I am to have made so many blogger friends, I do get nervous about sharing my life now. Especially because I am always changing. I fear that people will judge me as being unstable, and not understanding that being unstable has given me so many opportunities in life.

This year has been a wild one. So wild that I haven’t even been able to be open about it..

A huge primary factor when it comes to my blog is reflection. I don’t have much to reflect on this year. I can simply just take it from here, but I have decided to share what I have been going through. Starting with this post.

I have let fear stop me from sharing.

I have let fear stop me from being real.

I have let fear stop me from doing what I enjoy.

I have let fear stop me from building friendships.

To the real ones, thank you for reading and not judging. I can assure you that I will be a safe follower for you also. You will not be judged by me. I will be grateful that you are sharing your life and hope that I can learn a thing or two from you…because we are all a work in progress right? That’s the beauty of vulnerability and honesty. Your story just might be what someone needs to read

Onward and upward,

Sabrina

Long time no see

Wow, it’s been a while! I miss my blog so so much and I’m ready to get back to business. I definitely have a lot to share and am happy to say that this year so far has already brought a lot of joy and change to my life. I’m living life in a different way than usual and I’ve learned a thing or two by doing so.

Tomorrow I will be taking my lunch break in my office to blog it up! That should put me in a good mood to finish the work day off and start my 3 day weekend in San Diego 🙂

Happy to be back,

Sabrina xo